Monday, 30 March 2009
Sunday, 29 March 2009
I always asked you that question. Every time you came I would ask you that question. But, you never answered me, you only stared past me into some terrifying future I could not see. You would brace yourself, as if the world was a terribly cold place. And I always wanted to reach out and touch you, to hold you, to warm you...
I used to wait for you. To wait for the sound of your footstep. One time you brought someone with you, and I felt I could breath more easily. But, I still asked you. You didn't look at me. You hardly glanced over in my direction, and I knew you were ashamed of me. You laughed, I had never seen you laugh before.
But, all the other times you came alone. Just for me to look at, for me to keep you company. Sometimes you would talk to me, in a low urgent voice. You would tell me about your life, and your thoughts, and I would feel special, special and scared. You were so hurt, you didn't see the world as I saw it. As a reflection of you. How many times didn't I wish I could say something, something to make the pain in your eyes go away?
And then, then came the time when you didn't return. I waited and waited, but I never saw you again. The reflection of you became a distant memory. And I will wait here for someone else to come find me.
"Did you run?"
Monday, 23 March 2009
This is how dieting works. Seeing that I have now finally decided to shed some weight (strangely enough, it didn't shed itself after the baby was born, if anything it expanded) I ended up having caffe latte and potatocrisps for breakfast.
One can be perfectly happy and not in craving for any sweets or fatty stuff whatsoever for ages, but the very minute one decides to start a diet one will start craving all the forbidden food like nobody's business. Unfortunately, that doesn't work the other way... (oh glory if it did)
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
Thursday, 5 March 2009
I never wanted to be like my parents, but then I haven't known anyone who did, so this was kind of a non-issue. Of course they have certain qualities, many in fact, that I do admire and like, but I never wanted to end up as my parents. I like the way they handle life, and these traits I am very happy to have inherited. But, dad's habit of (mis)using large words when wanting to be serious and mum's habit of exagerate and add on to any story are traits I have found embarrasing, and still do. Unfortunately, I catch myself doing the same things over and over again...