Outfit of the day

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While trying to fill a couple of hours before I could go home from the course I stumbled across a new type of blogs. Or, new to me, that is. And I got so fascinated I had to find more, and suddenly two hours had gone by.

The net seems to be filled with teenage-blogging. I call it teenage-blogging, as it seems to me that this type of blogging mainly is a teenage phenomenon. I have no idea if there is some cool fashionable name for it. Give me a shout if you know. Educate me!

Anyway. These blogs main purpose is to show off to the world the outfit of the day. Posts after posts after posts with a cutish girl posing in front of a door/window/closet in different outfits. A short description of the clothes, where they were purchased, and how much they love them will then follow. Every now and again this will be intersped with pictures of selected make-up, skincare products, new gadgets, and "this was what I ate for dinner". My fascination, and my horror, is that these blogs have lots, LOTS, of readers. Other kids come in the thousands to read these blogs every day. At the moment, the most popular blog here in the Old Country is blogged by a 14-year old girl. She has a staggering 80 000 readers every day. While blogging about it I got curious and had to have a quick peek at her blog again. The last post was posted yesterday at 10:51pm, which is roughly 12 hours ago. The post has a pic of a spaghetti sauce and has so far 139 comments. And it's not really a good pic, just a normal one.

And although I feel I shouldn't care less about these blogs on the ground that they are immature, uninteresting, and have no content whatsoever, I am still fascinated. Because obviously they are neither. 80 000 people cannot be so wrong. Which means that maybe, just maybe, I am the one in the wrong. I am getting old! There is no way around it. 80 000 kids think this is superinteresting, and I can't wrap my (old) head around it. Now, nail that coffin shut.

Interview, again…

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I went on an interview. The position was very interesting and very me. Sales and Marketing Coordinator. Sounds fancy but means secretary. But that's ok. And the company. What to say about the company? It's a big international company with offices in 25 countries (and no, it’s not ikea). Oh joy.

Actually, it wasn't really an interview. A pre-talk for a possible work-opportunity was what they called it. But anyway, I got to meet the Sales and Marketing Director.

And so we wait...

Unemployed = Unwanted

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Unemployed. It's a word with too many bad associations linked to it. And with good reason. Being unemployed. Which means that you would like to have a job, but somehow don't have one.

In the end of 2007 I decided to move back to the old country after having worked and lived abroad for almost 7 years. At the time, the market was doing well and I was optimistic, even a little cocky about getting a job when I arrived at the Mothership. Had I not worked for World Bank? And WWF? And did I not have a lovely and fancy Master degree from Abroad? The world was at my feet. Or so I thought.

Then I got pregnant. The pregnancy was great, and the result even better, but after having been out of the loop for almost 1 1/2 year, I emerged from Maternityleaveville to find that while I was away the Finance Crisis had hit the world. And suddenly jobs were sparse. Very sparse. And all my fancy-smancy experience and my fancy-smancy masterdegree from abroad meant nothing no more.

It's been 6 months. 6 months with application letters, resumes, interviews, and at the end, a rather sad email or phone call telling me that although I were great, my background is soooo impressive, they decided to go with someone else, someone with a more suited education/job experience/background/haircut. And then the dance starts again.

Being unemployed over a longer period of time makes you question yourself on all levels. Which is rather scary, not the least to mention depressing. When I first arrived here I thought I was so hot. As in oh-my-god-you-are-so-hot!! But recently I have found myself looking at jobads for call-centers, for receptionists, for assistants... Not to say that these jobs are in any way bad or not worthy, but I thought that after 7 years at uni and 3 years doing consultancy work in the Mighty Abroad, I would have thought I would be able to something a little bit more... relevant maybe?

And the shame. I could write books about shame. Friends are telling me that being unemployed isn't shamefull. That there is no need to feel shame, that it's because of the market being what it is, that things will change soon. And yes, there might not be a real reason to feel shame, but still you do. I look around at all my other friends who have jobs. They are doing something worthwhile! They are earning money! They are going places! And I, I am not doing anything, I am not earning money, and I am definetly not going places. The few times I dig deep into my pockets and decide to treat myself to a beer or a glass of wine with friends and their collegues, my shame becomes even more clear. "Oh", I will tell people, strangers we meet, friends of friends, "I am unemployed at the moment, I am looking for a new job". And I smile and laugh and pretend I couldn't care less. Pretend it doesn't matter. Pretend that I don't want to kneel down and BEG someone to just give me a chance, any chance, at anything!
And then i walk home (because i can't afford a cab) and I feel unwanted, outside the group, left out of the joke. Because that is how it is. I feel left out, not a part of... anything. In this society work equals worth. And yes, you can argue that it shouldn't be so, but that's the fact. And again and again being told that you weren't good enough, that they chose someone else, does something to you. It does something to your selfworth, to your sense of you. I have never questioned myself as I do these days. And not only proffesionally, I question everything about myself.

This post ended up much sadder that it was intended to be. But I guess that's the ugly truth. Being unemployed is sad.

Comfort food

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Salmon sashimi with springonion, gingersoy sauce, and a nice cava. Oh joy!

Spring tulips

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We had an addition to the family arriving just before xmas. A tiny beautiful niece showed up and so we had to knit up some tiny and beautiful clothes for the small princess.

Canon SX1 IS – A Tentative Love Affair

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Hubby and I decided to buy a new camera. Which means that I decided we should buy a new camera and hubby happily went along with it. After having spent a week researching cameras on the net, pondering over whether we should have a compact or a DSLR camera I stumbled upon megazoom, and a new world opened up before me. Not to mention even more sleepless nights weighing up pros and cons of the different types of cameras. But, in the end we (I) finally decided on a Canon SX1 IS, and the finding-the-cheapest-price-process began. Another week passed by, more sleepless nights. The search for the perfect combo in a shop/internetshop took forever. The price on the camera could be good, but then the memory cards would be more pricey, or the charger, and who would offer extra insurance, and shipment costs... The list went on and on and on. But, in the end we were able to decide on the shop as well, and an order was made.

But, by this time, so much effort and emotions had gone into this process (not to mention that the camera wasn't super cheap in the first place) so it had to supergreat! It HAD to be!! I was tripping around for five days before, at last, the much-longed-for-camera finally arrived at the post office.

The first day was spent running around taking pictures of tables, windows, pencils... you name it, I shot it. And of course telling everyone who would care to listen about how great it was. But, deep inside was this tiny nasty voice telling me that was it really? Was it really that great? And weren't those pics of the pencils quite blurred and unfocused? But it couldn't be so. I had so much emotions invested in this. IT HAD TO BE SUPERGREAT!! But it wasn't, the pictures were blurred, and unfocused, and not good. Even hubby rather disapointed pointed out that he couldn't get the pics to be any good. Tears all around. Well, not really, but in my heart I cried. Because i had wanted this camera to be God's Gift to Wandering Lady. And I would suddenly take great proffesional looking pictures that people would admire. And so the camera was banished to the back corner of the workdesk, behind the laptop and the printer.

But, this weekend I decided that I had to figure it out. There were lots of raving reviews of it on the net, so obviously it was not the camera who was faulty but rather my knowledge of it.

I have downloaded all available manuals for it, been on several forums, blogs, and photography websites. I have read about exposure, shuttertime, and lots I can't even pronounce. And slowly the pics are getting better. I am in love with the macro-mode, although to get great pics I do need lots of light. After having discovered shutterspeed, I suddenly found out that I can take great pics of the Munchkin running around in the living room. Taking pics in continious mode (which was one of the things I were really really really looking forward to use) is still rather disapointing, but on the other hand, I am not even halfway through the manual.

The point to this post? Maybe there isn’t a point. Well, I started out wanting to write about how you can hype yourself up so much about something so when you finally got it you are bound to be dissapointed. After having re-read what I have written I do feel I got lost somewhere in the middle and ended up towards don't blame the thing if it's because you don't know enough about it.

Anyway. I do love the camera. I really do. But I do see that I have to do a bit of work before it will produce the award-winning pictures I thought it would.